I’m not sure where to begin. I don’t have an update about a big trip, but I have been thinking a lot lately about life here and the inevitable moment when I will have to say goodbye to everything and everyone. I guess a couple weeks ago I went through my first real homesick phase since I’ve been here (which is pretty good, considering it came three months in). I just was thinking a lot about my friends at home and school, and about how much I was longing for the stability and structure of life at Richmond. In no way did I ever feel that I absolutely wanted to get out of Italy; these feelings were more of just missing the people from home, and little pieces of American culture- like breakfast food and American coffee.

At the same time, I had been talking to a couple of my junior friends who are nearing the end of, or have finished their own study abroad experiences, and I suddenly snapped to the other end of the emotional spectrum, and began to feel almost guilty for pining over home while I was still here with the chances to experience each moment of my life here to the fullest.

This survivor’s guilt of sorts really got me back into the swing of things in Ferrara. I got to see Anna and Chiara last Saturday, which was absolutely lovely. We met at Palazzo Diamanti and saw the Boldini exhibit together, and after went for a drink in a bar near the theatre. It was so nice to sit and chat with them for about an hour over our spritzes, because I had the chance to talk to them about Richmond, but in a different way than, say, Carter and I talk about Richmond. It is amazing to think about my perceptions and experiences in Ferrara, and to relate them back to the time Chiara and Anna spent at UR. (Sidenote: they BOTH used their spidercards at the exhibit to get a student discount, and I didn’t even have mine! Now think about that!)

On Monday, I went to what I have since deemed my favorite pizzeria in the city, Giuseppe, with Carter for dinner, and this sparked my overwhelming feelings of true love for Ferrara. We were waiting for a table, and I was just taken aback by how Italian that place is, and more importantly, how comfortable and at home I felt there. It is hard to describe why this pizzeria is so great, but I’ll try. Its a sort of a small restaurant, with two sections. In the front there is a bar, and a counter where you can sit and eat, and there are about five tables in the back. You come in, and you can either just sit at a stool, or (in Italians’ favorite way) pull an number and wait to sit in the back. The place is obviously family owned, and you can see as they make your pizzas and ceci right in front of you. It is modest, earnest, fairly priced, and uncompromising in its simplicity and quality. They don’t mess around with their pizzas- no frills, just delicious fresh ingredients, and direct-out-of-the-oven service. Yum. Later, we got gelato, and sat in the mostly empty piazza, just watching the few people as they trickled past. It was a quiet, introspective moment in which I came to realize how drastically my original perceptions of this city have changed.

Since then, this week has been full of similar little moments: seeing the Christmas lights hung around the city and waiting in anticipation for the moment when they are finally lit, sitting in a bar by myself taking in the view of Via Mazzini over lunch, letting go and dancing like crazy with my roommates at Andrea’s concert last night, and riding through the quiet streets at 1am afterwards… I’m so in love with life right now that it is almost intoxicating.

So yes, I came to all of these gushingly emotional realizations in light of the fact that I will ultimately have to leave, but I am coming to terms with that fact, and I am determined to just let that motivate me to savor the little things, and know that I will always carry this experience with me in my heart.

(?)